Re: Is my girl okay?

Kristina, I haven’t heard from you in days and I am wondering if you’re okay.  Was it something I said?  Something I didn’t say?  Were you abducted by aliens from a far away planet, like Pluto, maybe, which technically is a dwarf planet, not a planet, but you probably still consider it a planet over there in your country.

Last we communicated, you were feeling especially tired after a hectic day of dealing with your travel agent and setting up the backstory for an artful extortion, and I was concerned that maybe you were carrying my lovechild, through an immaculate conception effected over TCP/IP and an SMTP server.

Please write back so I know you and the baby are fine.

All my love,
Petey