Kristina, I must say I am a little upset this morning. I wrote you a long note, complimenting you on your nipples and speaking of my desire to repeatedly slam you in the shower, asking if you wouldn’t mind calling me “Penis”, and you respond without even acknowledging my sincere, heartfelt sentiments. It’s as though we don’t connect as we once did.
Please reassure me, my love. I appreciate the bikini shot, but perhaps now would be a good time to up the ante. You up mine, and I will continue to dream of upping yours. How about a naked shot? Are you in a giving mood this holiday season?
I have never heard your proverb that the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach, but in my country we often say “Show me your tits!” In America, the most direct path to the heart is to go straight for the cock, then head north.
I am hoping that the Christmas spirit is in you, and that one day I shall be too.
Your Penis xoxo