Re: Hi, miss you

Kristina, I can’t believe we will soon meet, and I can hold you, and touch you, and slurp on your neck, and then go fishing with your Dad! I can hardly contain my excitement! o s, imnr;orbsn;u excited! See? I was so excited, I typed half of that sentence with my fingers on the wrong keys!

The closest airport to me is Westchester County Airport (HPN) in White Plains, NY. I’m not sure anyone has ever flown in there from Moscow, but I am betting if you wear the white nipply shirt we spoke about earlier any pilot with a penis will redirect the flight for you.

On the money thing, I think you made a mistake laying out $200. My agent, whose name is Bond (James Bond), said that he could have done the paper work and got you the letters of transit for $50. The other option would be to fly through Casablanca, where my friend Ugarte also has letters of transit hidden in Sam’s piano at Rick’s place. But, I digress. I have spoken with two personal financial experts, Jean something and Suze Orman, and both of them assure me that we’d be better off arranging all travel from the States. You should probably send me money, and let me do the booking for you. We can talk more about that tomorrow.

What a wonderful holiday this is turning out to be! It’s a wonderful life. It’s a miracle on 34th Street. It’s a real Christmas story.

We shall be together soon, my love.

I remain,

Yours,

On multiple lines,

And with many commas,

Petey xoxo

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